August 11, 2025
A few weeks ago I was telling a story to several of my young patients about a trip I took to Cabo San Lucas when I was their age.
At the end of the story, they asked me if we got photographs or took any video as evidence of what happened.
I chuckled and let them know that at that point in time, a smart phone had not been created and it was one of those memories that “you had to be there to experience.”
After they left, I went into my office and wrote down a quick note about this exchange as I find it incredibly important for our youth.
I find it to be increasingly rare to see our youth going about life creating the “you had to be there experience” without a dumb phone documenting every single waking moment of their life.
There are a few examples where heroic parents and communities have come together but this is the exception, not the standard.
Which leads me to today’s reflection:
How many of them are going to be blessed with the opportunity to create lasting memories that do not involve an experience blocker?
What is the cost of giving our children this technology?
How many generations are going to miss out on the experiences that actually make us human?
Now, are there instances where I am incredibly grateful for the advancements we have made in technology.
Absolutely.
Heck, I can record a 10:00 video and load it to YouTube in less than 20 minutes.
My wife can shoot life action photos of our children and pick the exact photo that is the best.
I can control my thermostat from anywhere in the world.
However…the vast majority of people are utilizing technology every single day to doom scroll social media for hours upon hours of their day supposedly “connecting” to the world.
If you’re curious, it is suggested that the average teen spends 7 hours and 22 minutes a day on their phone.
That is 7 hours and 22 minutes too long in my opinion.
We wonder why anxiety and depression are skyrocketing?
It is pretty straight forward.
We were designed to be in community, in person, with other people.
Was it uncomfortable at times? Absolutely
Was it beautiful at times? Absolutely
Was it a glorious struggle to figure out all the questions about who you are, what you stand for, and how you are going to leave a legacy in this world?
A RESOUNDING YES!
Do you remember what it was like to live before the smart phone?
Those 7 hours and 22 minutes were spent with our friends living those moments that gave us what social media calls “core memory.”
BUT…we are at risk of losing these very memories because we have not only encouraged but have equipped our youth to be absent from the real world and present in the virtual world.
To create the “core memory unlocked” experience, I propose that we need to implement a new standard and new example for our youth.
We need to show them how good it used to be when we didn’t have the world following us 24/7 and we were able to just go explore and experience life.
This can be embodied simply by making a no phones on vacation rule.
It could be as simple as taking a technology break from Saturday to Sunday every weekend.
It could be as simple as giving your teen a true dumb phone that can only make calls and text.
To reclaim what makes us human requires us to take a break from the technology take over and to tap in to making memories that require us to be truly present.
As we are on the precipice of an incredible AI implementation, it is of utmost importance that we still retain what it means to be human and to experience everything amazing about being human.
Otherwise, that one time, in cabo, when we were in the pool…will become nothing more than a story told by AI that no one can remember because they were too busy looking at their phone while the world of experience and human interaction passed right in front of them.
