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First With Your Head

June 16, 2025

Freshman year of Jesuit College Prep is filled with a nostalgia that only someone who has experienced it can truly appreciate. 

During this first year, there are many lessons designed to help lay the foundation that will  form the immature boy into the motto: a man for others. 

One of these lessons has stuck with me for the last 25 years and it is one that I think a majority of us struggle with every day of our lives. 

Letting our emotions guide our decisions in every aspect of our lives. 

You see, one of the many books we read at Jesuit was “The Power of One” by Bryce Courtney. 

This is a coming of age story about a young boy in South Africa and the wisdom he is taught by his many mentors to help him overcome the many challenges he faces as he matures into a man.

One of the many lessons that was ingrained in my own life came from the mentor, Hoppie Groenewald who stated: 

“first with your head, then with your heart, that’s how you get ahead from the start.” 

A simple phrase to remind myself that when making a decision, it is most important to actually pause and think instead of reacting to the raw emotion. 

Now, I am not going to claim to be an expert at this as I have made many emotional bone headed decisions in my life and most of them come with consequences or opportunities to learn life lessons. 

Sometimes I make the same emotional decision multiple times before I learn the lesson. 

Others I am still working on. 

And many I have learned a lesson from…I guess that is something we call wisdom…or life experience. 

Either way. 

Stop letting emotions guide your decisions. 

Start collecting actual evidence and use your brain to first think through a calculated choice. 

If you have to write it out, write it out. 

But most importantly, before making an emotional response, pause, and think.

Ask yourself: is this a calculated response or an emotional reaction. 

Believe me, not only will this help you make better decisions, it will also help you develop strong moral character. 

First with the head, then with the heart may be incredibly difficult at first, especially if you have lived most of your life in an emotional reaction…but that simple pause, repeated enough times, has the power to transform your life. 

Remember…it’s 4:45 AM…and if you are walking with me, wherever you are in the world, know that I am praying for you.

Since I don’t make posts like this on social media … If there’s someone you know that would benefit from reading this, share it with them so they can start working on making their Monday great again.